Real life love help
Constantly thinking of your guy (or ex) keeps you from enjoying anything else. You can take control. BY melanie abrahams
FANTASY LAND
The Notebook made obsession seem romantic— but really, it’s just unhealthy.
| BEST OF TIMES If you keep replaying happy memories (like a great kiss), you’re probably worried that things won’t ever be that perfect again—with him or any other guy. WORST OF TIMES If you keep replaying a bad memory (like a fight), you’re probably worried it was all your fault—or that you could have handled the situation better. |
| make it END! A love tape that loops over and over in your head holds you back from making new memories. Stop it by: | |
| 1. creating a plan Each night, list everything you’re doing the next day. Pack your schedule with afterschool activities and plans with friends—then stick to it! Keeping your mind busy won’t give your love tape time to play—and it’ll give you time to move on. | 2. keeping a journal Get a journal and write all the good things that happen to you each day. If someone liked your sweater or your dog did something cute, write it down! This will help shift your thoughts away from your love tape and back to today, where they belong. |
| 3. taking charge When the memories do pop up, tell yourself, The past is in the past, but I’m moving forward. Then go back to what you were doing. Even if you have to do this every two minutes, keep at it. It’ll condition your mind to focus on the future. | 4. looking ahead Start a new activity, like getting a job (you’ll stay busy, meet new people, and earn cash!). Accomplishing things will remind you that even though you can’t go back in time, you can do things now to make your future better and happier. |
QUEEN OF OBSESSION
It can help to get your love tape out on paper. Alanis Morissette turned hers into a hit song
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“You Oughta Know”
“And every time you speak her name/ Does she know how you told me you’d hold me/ Until you died, ’til you died/ But you’re still alive”
HELP If you’re so obsessed that you can’t eat or sleep, call the Girls and Boys Town at 800-448-3000 for advice.
