| wear modest clothes | go on chaperoned dates |
| from traditions of: buddhism, christianity, hinduism, islam, and judaism why it applies today: Whether it’s fair or not, your clothes affect how people see you. If you wear skimpy clothes, some guys may think you’re into fooling around. So wearing modest clothes works like a quality control—guys who just want sex won’t think you’re an easy target! | from traditions of: hinduism and islam why it applies today: When you’re alone with a guy, it’s easier to get pressured into doing sexual things. But hanging out in a group gives you control, since he can’t try anything physical. It gives you both the time and space to get to really know each other—so you feel comfortable speaking up if things ever start moving too fast. |
| HOW IT WORKS FOR HER:
“When I used to wear tube tops, I felt like a lot of guys came up to me just to check out my body. Now that I dress more modestly, they look me in the eye!” REBECCA, 19, GAITHERSBURG, MD | HOW IT WORKS FOR HER:
I’m Muslim and in my religion dating is a ‘no’— going out in a group is better. Having friends around keeps him and me from doing things we might regret. ERUM, 18, PORT JEFFERSON STATION, NY |
| save sex for marriage | get premarital counseling |
| from traditions of: buddhism, christianity, hinduism, islam, and judaism why it applies today: Waiting until marriage shows that your guy really wants you and not just your body—so he won’t leave once you’ve shared it with him. Some spiritual leaders say that waiting for other milestones, like the one-year anniversary of your first date, can help in the same way. | from traditions of: christianity and judaism why it applies today: A religious leader—or a relationship counselor—can ask questions to help you figure out if you and your fiancé really want the same things from life. If you think things through now, like if you want kids or how you’ll deal with money issues, you’re less likely to have problems that could lead to divorce later. |
| HOW IT WORKS FOR HER:
“I’m not ready for the stress that sex would bring to my life—and neither is my guy. In fact, he’s attracted to how much I respect myself and my body.” KATIE, 18, CLOVIS, CA | HOW IT WORKS FOR HER:
“In marriage class they made us show how we’d get through rough times—like a big fight. Proving our strength and commitment confirmed that we can last.” BRITTANY, 22, PROVO, UT |
EXPERT: Paul B. Raushenbush is also the author of Teen Spirit: One World, Many Paths.
